The pain of comparing ourselves to others … and how to soothe it


The most painful part of each day is when we compare ourselves to others.

We may do this daily. At times, even hourly!

We keep coming up with the “fact” that we are less than, not enough, not as good as them … 

or their things are better (their body, partner, car, dining room set, bank account, success, life purpose).

A classic trick of the ego, but we keep falling for it!

Here’s why is it important to catch ourselves in the act of comparing ourselves (and learn to manage it better):

  1. Our core energy takes a downward dump at that very moment.
  2. We are not present with the vibrant reality we are in. 
  3. We’re up in our heads muttering to ourselves. 
  4. We’re feeling bad about ourselves. What a drag. 
  5. We are doing this to ourselves. What unnecessary suffering!

When I caught myself comparing recently:

  • I love my little, beginner’s garden plot–all bubbling up so beautifully with fresh butter-lettuce and squash. Then I notice the huge garden plots all around me by master gardeners. Mutter, mutter: my little garden plot is suddenly so inferior!
  • I am enjoying a walk in my neighborhood. Then I peer into a backyard — fantastic gazebos, a pond with ducks, hammocks, flowerbeds and lovely shaded hideaways. Grumble, grumble: why didn’t I have this?!

So here’s how I deal with this: 

>>> the 12 second Recharge helps when comparing!

The moment I catch myself going into a comparison and feeling bad, I run the 12 second recharges, immediately and without further internal debate.

The very same 12-seconds I’ve taught you in these previous emails. 

In particular, I pay attention to allowing the inhale to flower into a smile. If for no other reason, smile to yourself because you just caught your ego red-handed 🙂

It is precisely this very smile at the top of the 6-second inhale that breaks the spell of the ego’s comparison … and brings me back to the vibrant reality in which I exist in this moment.

I challenge you to catch yourself comparing yourself …
and soothe with the 12-second Recharge:

  1. immediately use the 12 second Recharge.
  2. focus on really allowing the inhale to flower in that smile of yours!
  3. feel the difference between comparing vs. smiling!

Enjoy this process … and I love that you want to transform into your highest presence. May this serve you.


Dialogue with me! just email me … or text 303-619-1890.