How I fell in love (mostly) when the doctor gave me a diagnosis


I got pushback:

I’ll get to the doctor’s visit, but first … I got pushback on my last article to you all, from a dear male friend. A highly conscious man on the spiritual path.

So I listened.

Remember, I was encouraging you to meditate on this: “in what ways might I fall in love with this exact moment?”

My male friend push backed like this: “Your inquiry sets the bar too high for me. Many or most times, I’m good if I can even accept the moment, let alone fall in love with it.”

That was an interesting point I hadn’t thought about.

As I contemplated this, I recalled the spiritual philosophy so widely circulated for many years now, and still circulating among those interested in spirituality: watch your mind, be aware of your thoughts, do not resist what you are feeling, learn to ACCEPT WHAT IS.

The paradigm in this philosophy is on finding acceptance of what is, coming to inner peace.

I realize that I am coming from a different paradigm: ecstatic appreciation.

My friend was right: there IS a difference between accepting the exact moment versus falling in love with it.

The bar IS higher to fall in love with the exact moment, rather than just accept it.

I believe the higher bar is worth it, because it challenges me (you) in exactly the right ways to grow.

I believe that the higher bar is not too high.

Here is the important distinction:

You may not be able to fall in love with some aspect of this exact moment, but if you exercise your love muscle, you will find many aspects you can fall in love with.

I was recently told by my cardiologist that I needed to have a heart catheterization (read surgery), so he could see exactly what was (and wasn’t) blocked in my heart.

Did I fall in love with his pronouncement?


Could I fall in love with many other aspects of that exact moment?

By turning my awareness (my growing capacity to love) to this inquiry, yes:

  • I had before me a doctor of the healing arts, looking out for me.
  • My wife was squeezing my hand.
  • My heart was pumping life through me just fine.
  • The Universe seemed to be proceeding with its intelligence.
  • I noticed the sun through the window be-lighting flecks of dusk as gold in the air.

This brings us to another important point:

In my last article, I recommended that when you sit down to meditate, you actually meditate on “in what ways might I fall in love with this exact moment?”

In this article, I am showing how this same question can be used “off the meditation cushion” … and on the fly, in real life, throughout your everyday tasks, challenges, and relationships … and in the doctor’s office.

First I’ll outline the steps and then we will apply it to some real life examples.

Step One:

Memorize this inquiry “in what ways might I fall in love with this exact moment.”

Just the fact of encoding this in your brain’s memory system opens a pathway to awakening.

The fact that you can recall it, at will, builds the neural connections in your brain to fall in love with this exact moment.

[Why Hebb’s Law Is Important Here:]

Remember that in neuroscience there is a famous adage: “what fires together, wires together.” This is known as the Hebb’s Law

Hebb’s Law is the downfall of any addict, because an addict is firing and wiring together their drug of choice with feeling good.

But we can use Hebb’s Law for stress reduction, mindfulness and awakening!

When you memorize, recall, and inquire into this question throughout your day, you are firing and wiring together “enlightenment neurons” (hey, I made up that phrase).

The more repetitions of asking this question of yourself, the greater the firing and wiring together, and the more robust and active your enlightenment neurons.

Which leads to the next step.

Step Two:

Ask yourself this question throughout the day, on the run, no matter what your situation.

Ask the question when you are:

  • brushing your teeth,
  • extracting yourself from the computer to go pee,
  • listening to your partner share a painful experience,
  • feeling anxious about money,
  • enjoying a walk,
  • stuck at a traffic snarl,
  • waiting in line,
  • (you get the picture … anywhere, anytime!)

When I use this question with ordinary (and maybe not so ordinary) events throughout the day, I find that I am repeatedly able to access that aspect of my mind that is enlightened, and does fall in love with the moment.

Sometimes asking the question just flows with the moment and enriches it, like walking outside, and suddenly noticing (really noticing) the weather … I feel it, enjoy it and fall in love with it.

At other times, it is a stretch to answer this question: say I’m angry about my printer not working and stuck on hold with the corporation that sold me the lemon.

But stuck on hold, and asking the question above, is a good stretch because the question orients me to noticing other aspects I do love in that exact moment.

  • I can breath into my anger.
  • I have a smartphone on which to make this call.
  • All of my organs, systems, cells, glands, and mitochondria seem to be working without a single thought,
  • Reality is doing its thing.
  • The Cosmos is still evolving, as far as I can see.

Step Three:

Practice repetitions of this inquiry throughout your day, in whatever ordinary or extraordinary circumstance you find yourself in. 

You could even set a timer on your smart phone to remind you.

Enjoy Reality through the lens of enlightenment for this exact moment.


Reference Notes:

You can read more about Hebb’s Law here:

Contact Anytime:

  • Frederic Wiedemann, PdD, Founder
  • [email protected]
  • 303-619-1890 (text me with your ideas or feedback!)

Resources to learn more:

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